A sample of Awoken

Here is the long-awaited, much-requested teaser chapter for Awoken!

(under the cut ;p)

 Chapter Six

 Confrontation

 Though I barely slept at all, I spent the rest of the weekend in bed. I saw no point in getting up. I knew I wouldn’t be able to focus on anything but my own thoughts, and I could just as easily do that lying down.

My mom came barging in every couple of hours, asking questions and looking at me as though I were dying. I must have said, “I’m fine, Mom,” a dozen times. Of course, I wasn’t fine, but she didn’t need to know that. There was nothing she could have done to help me, except leave me alone with my thoughts. Again and again, I went over the events of the past week, trying to make sense of it all, but it was like trying to solve a jigsaw puzzle without all the pieces.

Riley had made Travis lose his mind. I was sure of it.

But how? And, more importantly, why?

I thought about Thursday in the parking lot at Henrietta’s, when he’d vanished into thin air. The way he talked, like he was from another era. The fact that he’d appeared in my dreams before I’d met him in real life. The conclusion was as obvious as it was terrifying.

Riley Bay wasn’t human.

But if he wasn’t human, then what was he? An alien, sent to Earth to learn about humanity in preparation for an invasion? Riley was certainly weird enough to be an alien, but I didn’t see why the mother ship would send him to Portsmouth, Rhode Island, in the guise of a high schooler. Surely, he would learn more by infiltrating our government or something, right?

If he wasn’t from outer space, then he had to be from Earth. But if any native of Earth could do the things he did, then the world was a much stranger place than I’d been led to believe.

In my head, I made a list of every mythical beast I could think of, but Riley Bay didn’t resemble any of them. He went out during the day, so he couldn’t be a vampire. He was in school during the full moon, so he wasn’t a werewolf. He didn’t have wings, so I could cross both faery and angel off the list. What did that leave? Leprechauns? I snorted at the very idea.

And what was his motive? What interest could such a creature have in me, the most ordinary girl in the world? Why did he despise me so? And why punish Travis for taunting me? If anything, he should have reveled in seeing me humiliated like that. The more I learned about Riley Bay, the less he made sense.

A big part of me wanted to pretend the whole thing had never happened, but that was impossible. Even if my mind had let me forget, my classmates wouldn’t have. On Monday, everyone was talking about Travis’s unexpected mental break.

“They’re saying it was drugs,” Vik informed us at lunch.

“He didn’t seem high to me,” said Bree. “I mean, until he started screaming about tentacles.”

“I guess whatever he took needed time to kick in,” said Vik, shrugging.

“What did he take?” Bree asked. “LSD? Bath salts? Mushrooms?”

“I’ve heard conflicting things,” said Vik. “But whatever it was, he must have way overdone it. They’re saying his brain is permanently fried.”

No one said a word about Riley. Apparently, I was the only one who’d noticed the look on his face as Travis went insane. That made sense when I thought about it. No one else had any reason to be looking at Riley at that moment. Even if they happened to glance in his direction, they probably wouldn’t recognize the significance of his expression. Only I had reason to be wary of him already.

By the time the 3:35 p.m. bell rang, I couldn’t take it anymore. I had to confront him.

Cornering Riley wasn’t hard since, as usual, he had chosen the desk directly behind mine. I waited just outside the classroom door, gesturing wordlessly for Vik and Bree to go on without me. Then, when Riley came out, I ambushed him.

“We need to talk,” I said bluntly.

Surprise flicked across Riley’s face, but a second later, he’d regained his composure.

“Yes?” he asked coolly.

I looked around. The hallway was swarming with students, but Mr. Price was still in his classroom, as most of the teachers would be. In the end, I pulled Riley into a nearby janitor’s closet. It seemed faintly ridiculous, discussing such fantastic events surrounded by mops, brooms and various other humble objects, but it was better than the hallway. It was going to be awkward enough without an audience.

“I want to know how you did what you did to Travis, and why,” I said.

He looked at me the way you’d look at a poodle that suddenly started reciting Hamlet.

“I… I know not what you mean,” he said.

“Don’t lie to me!” I snapped. “I saw the way you were looking at him.”

Riley’s lip curled. “That’s your damning evidence?” he sneered. “That I looked at him?”

My cheeks flushed. Now that I’d said it aloud, it sounded ridiculous. But my gut was still telling me Riley was to blame.

“It had to be you,” I protested weakly. “Who else could have done something like that?”

“I think you’ll find the question is not who, but what. The boy foolishly ingested a most potent drug, or so believe the authorities.”

I shook my head. “That doesn’t add up. There were a hundred people at that party, and none of them saw Travis take drugs.”

“Perhaps he did so while hiding in the lavatory.”

“Or perhaps he didn’t take anything at all,” I said mockingly.

Riley only smiled patronizingly at me.

“I suggest you leave the detective work to the police, Miss Slate. You clearly have no aptitude for it.”

He started to walk out of the room. Furious, I called after him, “That’s not all I’ve seen you do!”

He froze, his hand on the doorknob.

The next instant, I found myself pushed up against the closet wall. Riley was gripping me by the shoulders, his face so close to mine that I could practically count the eyelashes framing his unearthly eyes.

“What do you mean?” he demanded, his hot breath warming my cheeks. I was seriously freaked out, but there was no turning back now.

“Last week, in the parking lot at Henrietta’s,” I said. “You just vanished. I only took my eyes off of you for a second. No normal person could have run away that fast.”

For the first time, Riley Bay was at a loss for words. I would have smiled triumphantly if I wasn’t so scared of what he might do next.

“And that’s not even taking into account the weird way you talk, or the fact that your past is a complete mystery, or—” I stopped short. I didn’t want to tell Riley that I’d seen him in my dreams. That seemed too… intimate. He might get the wrong idea.

“You… you noticed these things?”

“Of course. I’m not blind.”

He shook his head. “But you’re just a girl. One utterly insignificant girl. How could you…?”

Riley trailed off. He was looking at me in a completely different way then: with wonder and—was it possible?—a touch of fear.

“Perhaps the prophecy is true, after all,” he murmured, more to himself than to me.

“What prophecy?” I asked, baffled.

Riley just stared at me some more. The gears in his head were clearly turning a mile a minute, but I couldn’t guess what they were producing. Finally, he seemed to come to a decision.

“They’ll never believe you,” he said. “They’ll think you’ve been ingesting drugs as well.”

I opened my mouth, then closed it again. He was right. If I was really the only person who’d noticed all of the strange things about Riley Bay, then trying to tell people would be pointless. They’d find it much easier to believe that I’d gone insane than that I’d actually witnessed any of it.

Riley finally released his viselike grip on my shoulders.

“Go home, little girl,” he said. “Enjoy your mundane little life while you still can.”

And with that, he was gone.

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275 thoughts on “A sample of Awoken

  1. I never could into paranormal romances but this might bring me around. I keep hoping that Riley will just strip her of her will…. buuuut those might be stories I need to read in private. I love the main characters voice, she thinks like I talk. And the dream angle… can’t wait for more.

      • I think that Cthulu doesn’t knows anything about romance. And I agree with Eudaemon, can’t wait for more! Riley is so enigmatic but somehow sensible… that’s what I call an interesting and complex character :)

  2. Wow…I have to admit I’m a little confused as to what’s going on…but I love it!!! Riley seems SUPER dark and enigmatic…he made a boy go crazy?? Man, I don’t even care, like someone already said, Travis was a total creep. I wish I had a boyfriend who could make guys who creep on me go insane! :b Anyway, Mrs. Elinsen, I totally cannot WAIT for your book to be released. Consider me a proud Awokener!!! :D

  3. Some constructive criticism: “said Bree” is bad form. You almost always want to go with “Bree said.” While the former sounds good spoken aloud, in text it’s archaic and jarring. I’ve noticed you switch the order when the dialogue tag is anything but “said” (i.e. “Vik informed,” “Bree asked”), so consistency might be another good reason to make this change.

  4. As a twenty five year old male feminist, there’s little I enjoy more than stories like Twilight, and now Awoken, as a subtle, misunderstood form of female empowerment. I don’t think there is anything sexier or more enfranchising to the fairer sex than these tales, which show the sheer power of womanly love to overcome the evils and misogyny tragically perpetrated by the male gender. But I think in some small way, Edward stood as a monument to the incredible powers of the influence of commitment, and deep love, to alter the soul of a man for the better. I’ve read many such stories, but this may be the most promising one since Twilight for one simple reason–the insanity and tentacles hint point to… I don’t want to spoil it, but let’s say it suggests that Riley may be the greatest possible symbol of evil, and therefore the redemptive power of the affections of our strapping young heroine, possible short of the devil himself! Let’s just say that Serra Elinsen has done something ambitious indeed. And I boldly predict, this will be the story that finally breaks through the walls of critical and social perdjudice unfairly levied against Twilight and other Paranormal Romances, and earn the genre its rightful place in leading the fourth wave of feminism. Awoken will win critical acclaim. Awoken will sell millions. Awoken will, dare I say it, win a Pulitzer. Thank you, Serra Elinsen, for blazing your trail so proudly. Remember, it only takes one ripple in a pond to transform into a Tsunami.

    • Are you for real mate?? What the bloody hell is going on here??? Pulitzer prizes, critical acclaim, comparisons to Wuthering Hights and Catcher in the Rye, femministic empowerment??? The fans already have their own name for christs sake!!! (also, “awokeners”, WTF??) You guys, IT’S A FREAKING SAMPLE CHAPTER OF A ROMANCE NOVEL FOR HORNY TEENAGE GIRLS!!!!!! And it’s a fairly dreadful one at that! I’m not sure what’s going on here, but I’m going to get to the bottom of it. And David, if this is your honest to god opinion, get professional help.

      • I don’t know how you can NOT understand how wonderful her work is. It’s so beautiful I completely lost touch with reality for a spell. There is NOTHING wrong with it, okay ? The worst is, for a time, I was like you. Unable to apreciate the simple joys of life. But I found the sacred anaprotestant goat and now I am writing my epic 12 part sci-fi/low fantasy saga to make it fit in the same universe as Serra’s work. Anyway, I am not a member of the forces of baddiness anymore ! I don’t have to listen to INCUBS. Yes, I know you’re an incubus because you died in Texas in 1999. Seriously, look it up !

  5. Sersly? What up wit that Bay, makin’ people crazy ova some dull chick. Man, he need to git himself a hottie before destroyin’ shit!

  6. As an anti-fan of Twilight and it’s spawn 50 shades of Gray. I don’t mind this, funny at the most. Amazing I already got a pet-pev from this chapter. But besides that, enjoying. Well done, S.E.

    And if I may add one other thing, be that with cover book part. A drawer I’m lack of . . . hear this.

    Book Cover: Title is top middle, author below. Between, your “star” of the show center, black background, tentacails reach out the shadows and surround her, as Miss. Slate has her hands cups holding a star (A syumble of the unknown), as Miss. Slate looks out with hooded eyes in a trance like state.

    But hey, that’s just an idea. Good luck with your book!

  7. This chapter has left me confused, yet intrigued. Hurry up and publish this, I NEED to read this NOW!!!!

  8. Serra is such a nice woman! And a fantastic writer. I’m amazed someone so sweet could write something so… Dark!

  9. OMG! This is soooooo amazing!! Best thing for fiction since Twillight. Will love to read this book – Mrs. Elinson, you better hurry up and publish this book

  10. Wow, this is so interesting! I can really tell how much effort was really put into this. I can’t wait for this to get published! good luck!

  11. You know, I never really thought of an Elder God as a love interest for a paranormal romance novel, but I really enjoyed this chapter, especially that prophecy hook. I’m so excited for this to get published! I’ve always been a fan of Lovecraft, and Serra seems like the right person to make his works accessible to more people.

  12. wow, its sooo gripping!! I loved it when he just pushed her against the wall! I really want to read your book now!

  13. Well there’s five minutes of my life I’ll never get back. Here’s what I recommend: BURN THAT PIECE OF SHIT YOU CALL A BOOK BEFORE YOU DESTROY THE REST OF THE MINDS OF THE HUMAN RACE. Seriously, I can feel my brain cells slipping out!

    • If you don’t like it, why are you even reading it? Anyway, you’re just jealous that she’s such a great writer. If you’re so much better than her, why don’t you try writing a novel. I doubt you’ll get very far.

      • I read it because I was hoping her writing might improve, dumbass. Please, I bet far more people read my stories on fanfiction than this garbage.

    • Haters gonna hate. Seriously, do you have nothing better to do than criticise someone’s art? If you think you can do so much better why don’t you try and write a book? Loser <3

    • I hate when people just have negative things to say. You’re not doing a critic PHANTOMINSIDEMYMIND. You’re just showing us how full of frustration an anger you are. You’re a sad little person who lost the capacity of appreciate the beautiful of human emotions. I’m so sad for you, so sad.

  14. Amazing! Can not wait to read more Miss Elinsen! It’s almost like this was something that had actually happened to you!

  15. LALALALALALA!!!!! CANT HERR YOU!11!!!!! WIL NOT READ THIS REFROM ANAL!PROTESTANT PROPAGANDA!!!!!! LALALALALALlalalal!!!

  16. Serosly, this crap is fillt with RF ANALprotestant barainwashing. Iss more full of symbollisms than an illuminati video?!! Srrsly, how can I be only one to notice much?

    • thsEVENTH HORNED BIST!!!!! sheZ THE SEVENTHHORNEDBEASTITELLYOU!!!!! tHE cLOwN WAS rAIT i SHOULd HAvE LISTEND To HIM I SHOuLD hAVE MArrIED HIM iT4S LEgAL IN sOME STATES ! ThE ANAPrOTEstaNT CLoWN IS OUR saVIOR ! gOSEPAL OF judAS 1:45:89:305; LOOK it up AND REPENT !

      • UR a brainwashed creep scary! Dont U get it? QUitt reform anaprotestnaism befur is to late fur you!!!!!

    • IT4S NoT tOO lATE FOR ME UNtILL THE CLoWN SAyS IT iS ! He CALLeD ME BAcK, I’M GONA VISIT HIM ! HEs IN STjUDE PENitENCiARY, RoDBURRY, MASSACHUsSETS ! YOu CAN CoME Too ! ITs OKaY, He KNoWS AbOUT YOuR MOM !

      • YOU FUGGGING RF ANAPROTESTANTS R FUCKGGINT CARZYI!!!!!! WTFG ITS WRONG WIT U?? U SEE WAT THIS REGION DUS 2 PEPLE?????

    • ThIS ReLIGION GAvE Me THE HEAvENLY ANApROTEStANT CLOwN ! THiS RELiGION TAUgHT Me IT4S NoT BECaUSE YoU HAvE A DIPLoMA Or A JoB Or YOu THInK ABOuT STUfF THAT YoU ARE WORtH ANYtING !

    • TrUE WOrTH COmES FRoM FAiTH BuT ONLy IF YoU BELIeVE THaT ThE ANaPROTEsTANT GOaT MAdE FOoD FoR THE SiNGER ON THE DAy THAT ThE MOuNTAiN GReW LIgHT WiLL YoU BE SAVeD !

  17. Serra Elisen I’m sorry to have to say this given how you have written from such a deep place within yourself, but if this is a sign of the quality of the rest of your up coming novel then I am afraid it is of poor quality. There is some legitimate enjoyment in it, but overall it seems to star an annoying jerk and a condescending jackass – a condescending jackass who just seriously mentally hurt a guy. I get the feeling of that trend of abusive love stories that have been popping up all over the YA and Adult Romance Genre as of late.

    Also isn’t the horrifying; not to mention misogynistic and racist, works of Lovecraft a poor choice for romance inspiration?

    Regardless I’m sure if you study more and read more good books you’d be able to improve your story concepts at the very least. Might I suggest some very good novels and short stories you could read?

  18. This chapter didn’t really grab me. However, I’m still intrigued by the premise and mayhaps after further reading, it will speak to me.
    P.S- the spelling of “faery” was a nice touch.

  19. Oh… MY! I’m completely hooked. The subtleties in this little sneak peak alone are amazingly in depth. There’s so much wound up romantic tension between the characters that I felt like I was right there with them! The mystery, the insecurities, the passion that they emote is breathtakingly fabulous. You’ll undoubtedly become the next Nora Roberts, JK Rowling and Stephen King all rolled into one!! Bravo!!

    • Don’t look at her in the eyes, child. The one who try to break something to understand its working have left the way of wisdom ! Fly not near the sun, for fear that it might burn your fragile wings of albatre… I see the Acheans leaving the shores of New England but they left a book and SHE IS THE RED KING !

  20. Being a graduate, well past adolescence and a recovering anaprotestant, I have to say I am quite flabbergasted by this short sample of your writings, and I daresay this comes in a highly constructive fashion.
    I thought that your “Awoken” would be puerile or alimentar litterature and thus not worthy of my attention, but while it does pander to a demographic which can never fully apreciate it, it proved an interesting subject-matter, full of the ‘insondable’, as the french would say, born from the fertile depths of an ingenuous and incisive spiririt.

    The horrors of patriarchy, motivated not by what makes us humans, but by an energy coming from the dark, sparkling depths of the unconscious (or, should I say, the outerspace ?), from pulsions from which the evil (as much as this moralistic terminology bears to be used in the XXIth century) of the archaic mind always stemed, movements of the psyche motivated by sub-satiators, unhealthy gratifications that are to be denied for the abuse cycle to be overcome. The self-loathing of patriarchy, trying to convince itself that it aims protect what is said to be weak while serving its own interests (here, world domination and
    destruction) and ultimately convincing itself that its ideologies might be true.

    The character of Travis, of course, is fascinating. Everything relies on the unsaid, and the reader finds itself gently carried, as if by the waves of a Danish river amongst the white flowers to whom its kin has been compared by chauvinistic writers since the dawn of time.

    For the entirety of my reading, I found myself as if about to have an epiphany. I feel as if I was about to really understand your aim and to see what remained unseen in the mind, true meaning and oOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO THou Shall not pass I woUld rather have a job WIPING SADAM HUSSEIN4S ARSE ! There was what she said, what she meant, and what she thought, which was completely GAZE INTO THE ABYSS, OZYMANDIAS, and despair the lion and the lamb and THE FUCKING WARDrobe made from the tree of knowledge, how d’you like them APPLE, THE BIG APPLE was brothel YOU are all servants of the seven-horned beast, REPENT anaprotestant’s children orgnizations with clowns daddy why is the clown looking at me you are my angel of music ash nazg durbatulûk ash nazg gimbatul

    Sauron isn’t sexyest-Aragorn’s scret and Sam undera bed, but Aslan and Susan knows because they watch Big Movie an Scary Movie 5 ? Sami the clown prefers The Hobbit because Andy Serkis

      • im not a genius IM A DjINN FRM ThE CHUrCH OF AnAPrOTESTaNT hAPPIOLOGY ! I WaS SAVED bY THE DIViNE ANAPROTESTANT CLOWN ! i’M THE DIViNE VOiCE OF THE CRICKETS fROM THE DESERT ! SRSLY LOOK IT uP !

        aLSO i4M FRENCH cANAdIAN, AND THAT4S HOW WE WRITE LITTERATURE.

    • Frankly I couldn’t have put it better myself… makes about as much sense as the sample chapter.

      • FAnGZ ! WhEN THE ANApROTEStANT gOaT WILL sIT oN HiS tHRONE mADE oF EtHIOPiAN SLaVES On THE LaST dAY oF JuDGEMENT, YOu4LL bE REwARDED WiTH tHE RAiT To ChOSE WhO WiLL FEeD WiTH LIvE PiRHaNAS tHE CloWN WHo dOESn4t RETuRN My CALLS In HIS CAGE iN THE PiTS Of HeLL ! GOaT BLesS YOU !

    • @Ophélie de Laertes, Ph.D.

      HAH! Serra is REFORM anaprotestant, not ANAPROTESTANT. WY DO U SUPPURT HER? IM SORRY, i hav meny anaprotestnat friends (not reform) and their normal. I hav notting against normal anaprotestants, but Ophele is weird, but everyones not lik her?

      • I’M REfORMED ANApROTEsTANT ToO BEcAuSE OnLY US ArE TrUE ANaPROTESTaNTS. ThE OThERS SaY THEy4RE FaITHFuL HOneST TO gOAT ANaPROtESTANTS BuT THeY ChOSE TO Go BACk WItH THE PoPE LIkE FREaKING CAtHOLIiCS ANd THEY FOrNI**** WiTH HIm IN SeCRET UNdER MOuNT RUsHMORE iN 1987 ! THE PoPE IS A PrOSTITuTE ! THE FiRST chosen DIsCIPLE CALLED FoR iT ! CHeCK IT OuT (GOsPEL OF JuDAS 4:32:76:8ç). ALsO I DOn’T SUPPoRT HER, SHEs THE SEvENTH-HOrNED BEiST. I4m A LeGALiST REfORMED ANaPROTEsTANT, SHES A CoNGREgATIONIST REFoRMED ANaPROTEStANTS, THOsE ArE ThE WORsT !

  21. Hello! Greetings from the Germany. I wanted to ask you the question weather this book of AWOKEN! will be available in a german translation in the near time because my english is baddening. Thank you for giving an answer. Auf Wiedersehen!

    • No, she won’t translate her book in your stupid West Germanic language. Because she thinks all Germans are racist and eat saussages. Like most sensible AMERICAN people.

    • In what way does her character’s mind numbing “old-timey” language sound British? It’s pointless purple prose – I sincerely hope you’re just joking. It’s nothing more than morose purple prose!

  22. This book feels so fresh, is not like anything I read before, maybe is the style of the narration or just how sincere the emotions are… Good job Serra :D

  23. When I first stumbled across this, I thought it was just going to be another one of those over hyped YA romance novels that have been so popular as of late, but after this, I will say I am legitimately intrigued. I do hope this story isn’t going to go the way of Twilight, will the obviously abusive relationship and everything. Keep it up! I’m interested in seeing the finished, printed product.

  24. mrs elinsen your the best. i cant wait to read this, it looks even better than twilight, my fav book ever!!1!

    • ThIS IS No TWiLIgHT FoR THE ELdER gODS, tHiS iS No RAgNAROK, jUST ThE BEgINNING ! YOUr MInD WiLL FRy IN THe PItS WhERE ThE LUxURIuOUS ARE BaT TeRED WITH wIND BEcAUsE YOU COuLDN’T StAND ThE tRUE MEAnING Of AWaKENInG . CTUhLU, HElP ME §//??/?§L./§?./?./?/.?/.?

  25. Love it!!!!!!!!!!!! Serra has been well known to those of us in the cat fiction (“Catfic”) community for years!!!!!!!!! I’m SOO excited to see her finally making the jump to human fiction (“Humfic”). And although we will sorely miss her inspirational stories geared towards cats of faith, our loss is the human world’s gain!!!!!!!!!!!!! Just remember Serra– “Reowwr, mow, grrrrgh” (Catfickers will get it–LOL!!!!!)!!!!!!!

  26. I love the way Riley talks! Prim and proper but snarky= LET”S GET MARRIED AND CAN I HAVE UR BABBIES?!?! you know what I mean!?

  27. Why is no one leaving relevant comments ? *headesk* *headesk* *headsk* *headesk* *headesk* *headesk* *headesk* *headsek* *headesk* *headesk* *headesk* *headesk* *headesk* *headesK* *headesk* *headesk* *head esk* *headesk* *headesk* *headesk* *headesk* *headesk* *headesk * *headesk* *headdesk* *headesk* *headesk* *headesk* *headesk* *headesk* *headesk* *headesk* *headesk* *headesk* *headdesk* *headedsk* *headesk* *headessk* *headesk* *headesk* *headesk* *headesk* *headesk* *headesk* *headesk* *headesk* *headesk* *headesk* *headdesk* *headesk* *headesk* *headesk* *headesk* *headdesk* *headdesk* *headesk* *headesk* *headesk* *headesk* *headesk* *headesk* *headesk* *headesk* *headesk* *headdesk* *headedsk* *headesk* *headessk* *headesk* *headesk* *headesk* *headesk* *headesk* *headesk* *headesk* *headesk* *headesk* *headesk* *headdesk* *headesk* *headesk* *headesk* *headesk* *headdesk* *headesk* *headesk* *headesk* *headesk* *headesk* *headesk* *headesk* *headesk* *headesk* *headdesk* *headesk* *headesk* *headesk* *headesk* *headdesk* *headdesk* *headesk* *headesk* *headesk* *headesk* *headesk* *headesk* *headesk* *headesk* *headesk**headesk* *headesk* *headesk* *headdesk* *headesk* *headesk* *headesk* *headesk* *headdesk* *headdesk* *headesk* *headesk* *headesk* *headesk* *headesk* *headesk* *headesk* *headesk* *headesk*

  28. *headesk* *headesk* *headsk* *headesk* *headesk* *headesk* *headesk* *headsek* *headesk* *headesk* *headesk* *headesk* *headesk* *headesK* *headesk* *headesk* *head esk* *headesk* *headesk* *headesk* *headesk* *headesk* *headesk * *headesk* *headdesk* *headesk* *headesk* *headesk* *headesk* *headesk* *headesk* *headesk* *headesk* *headesk* *headdesk* *headedsk* *headesk* *headessk* *headesk* *headesk* *headesk* *headesk* *headesk* *headesk* *headesk* *headesk* *headesk* *headesk* *headdesk* *headesk* *headesk* *headesk* *headesk* *headdesk* *headdesk* *headesk* *headesk* *headesk* *headesk* *headesk* *headesk* *headesk* *headesk* *headesk* *headdesk* *headedsk* *headesk* *headessk* *headesk* *headesk* *headesk* *headesk* *headesk* *headesk* *headesk* *headesk* *headesk* *headesk* *headdesk* *headesk* *headesk* *headesk* *headesk* *headdesk* *headesk* *headesk* *headesk* *headesk* *headesk* *headesk* *headesk* *headesk* *headesk* *headdesk* *headesk* *headesk* *headesk* *headesk* *headdesk* *headdesk* *headesk* *headesk* *headesk* *headesk* *headesk* *headesk* *headesk* *headesk* *headesk**headesk* *headesk* *headesk* *headdesk* *headesk* *headesk* *headesk* *headesk* *headdesk* *headdesk* *headesk* *headesk* *headesk* *headesk* *headesk* *headesk* *headesk* *headesk* *headesk* There is no word in the Casithian language to express just how sci-fi authors feel about getting just this kind of concurence.

    • EVIL IS lIKE a hOUSE wHicH iS dIVIDED; BeCAUSE yOU’RE hUBRIC. bEWARE, hUBRIC WOmEN of jERUSAlEM, iN THE CIrCUS, WE SMLL LiKE tEAM sPIRIT, YOU sMELL liKE tHE gEHEN (gOSPEL oF jUDAS 13:24, SRSLY LOOK IT UP !)

      • Behold the fans of the Great and Powerful Serra Elinsen, ladies and gentlemen ! Do any of them care for the plot ? The characters ? The development ? Realism ? Psychology ? Foreshadowing ? Spelling your fucking name ? No. Teenagers with skewed expectations and fundamentalist psychos !

        I was just So. Fucking. Naive. I thought the fantasy/sci-fi world would be a bit down for a while, but I thought we would recover from Twilight.

        Yeah, you’re RAIT, I was so HUBRIC. To think there would be a place for me and other writers who want to have different world-building, innovate, and create other –
        You know what, I won’t even

  29. YoURE HUBRIC bECAuSE YOU TrY TO cReATE wOrlDS. ONLY THE SACRED ANAPROTESTANT GOAT CaN DO THaT ! WITH ThE PaRCELeSE, BUT IT4S NoT THE CLoWN, BECaUSE He WOn4T REtURN mY CaLLS ; (

  30. I am sorry to hear that, and I am sorry to have myself insulted you ; ). The thing is, I have issues with putting religious or escapist themes in books, because I think books should reflect the concrete character of reality. I got the link to this, and, despite writing about a carnivore plant named Khehana-Fe who is attacking nanites trying to hype the CO² levels while they communicate by poetry written in an invented language created by cyborgs, I STILL feel my writings are trying to be realistic, perhaps a bit too much. I like a lot in this extract, don’t get me wrong. It’s obviously something very personal and intimate and she sincerely believes in her anaprotestant stick. The style, to give only one among examples, is very fluid. I am just afraid, I guess. It could become the only big hit of that year. Also, I don’t get this religious issue with hubris. What’s wrong with having self-esteem ?

    • I guess this all boils down to Dante Alighieri’s definition of pride : “an excessive despise for anything, save oneself”.

      • Okay, I get it now. Also, you see, it’s much easier to converse when you start spelling correctly.

  31. I am sorry. I do not know what happened to me. Ever since I started reading this, my reasoning and spelling seem almost impaired. I guess it just comes from my subconscious realization of the author’s actual goals and ideas about the condition of the publishing industry as well as that of women in general.

    • What goals ? What
      RrRRE U tHEIR GOAT ? IT4S mE CASSanDRA ! IT4S ME, THE gOAT ! I WANNA CREATE A WORLD WItH HOTTIES !

      • Oh, god, you got it too. Just take a deep breath, dear. It’s gonna get better. At least, I hope.

  32. No, just remember your book, just remember your passion ! You are young, you have so much to live for !

  33. This sample was not very good. Your prose reads like my grade-school short stories about unicorns fighting helicopters and your characterization is unrealistic and clichéd. This story has been told a thousand times before thanks to books like Twilight and its only purpose is to promote the idea that abusive relationships are desirable and that it’s healthy to have crippling insecurity and a martyr complex. And I don’t like it. :(

    • Hey, Name, it’s not supposed to be Citizen Kane or whatever. It’s a book about LOVE. And love doesn’t have to make logical sense, and it doesn’t always work the way you think it would. You’re exaggerating–it’s not ABUSIVE it’s PASSIONATE. Their relationship is so impossible, Riley doesn’t know how to deal with it, so he gets angry at his feelings. He doesn’t understand yet how much he LOVES her. So STFU and learn a little bout LOVE, kay?

      • It sure is convenient how the narrator girl knows exactly what’s going on and how she is the only person to notice anything strange and how Riley blows his cover after one vague conversation and how Lego Brick is insecure enough to think no one will believe her. How convenient.

      • Hey, WINSTON AND JULIA 4EVA (what the hell kinda name is that, seriously), I can’t comment on your reply for some reason but just SHUT UP. You’re just making excuses so you can be a HATER. It’s not supposed to be the freakin Shakespeare or whatever. It’s a LOVE STORY, and this is how they’re going to fall in LOVE ok? You haven’t read more than a chapter, so how come you’re so quick to judge, huh? Bet YOU could never write a book like this, so STFU and learn about true, pure, passionate LOVE. Riley blew his cover cuz he can’t control his feelings for someone as smart and deep as Andi. He is ENTRANCED with how a silly mortal girl could possibly notice any of the stuff he’s doing, and Andi won’t tell anyone because they will think she’s crazy! So go home and learn about LOVE.

      • Don’t waste your time on people who don’t get Serra. I was like them bfore, writing my little epic about my little fantasy world… That was before Serra taught me that what matters is finding people like you and not being alone. I love that in her book. How Riley loses all his personal traits and projects and the heroine was only waiting for someone to give her goals and opinions, and finally they don’t need any of this because they are together. Adorbs, right ?!

  34. God, the way Riley talks is so mysterious and gothic! I love how he gets all OOEY when the narrator speaks to him!

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